2L Fall Finals 2L Fall Summaries unsolicited advice

BWE 13-15: Puking hotdogs

December 13, 2009

Before recapping the past few weeks, I offer my stressed-out 1L readers a metaphor. No, this isn’t about liability looming in the air or about tree-fruit. This is a metaphor about law school:

“Finals are like the last drop on a rollercoaster ride.”

Brilliant, no? No? Okay, let me explain…

A good rollercoaster ride is taxing and scary. Halfway through, everyone questions why they decided to get on the ride in the first place. It wouldn’t be a good rollercoaster if the ride was pleasant.

Pleasantness is for those Jennifer-Aniston lovers over there on the teacup ride. You waited in the ungodly long line for the rollercoaster because you are hardcore, and this is how you roll.

Right now, I am at the peak of the final drop of the rollercoaster. The view is great, but the bullshit fun is about to start. What’s the worst that can happen?

Erm… Okay. Barring some Final Destination disaster (or a stray bullet) the worst that can happen is a C, maybe a C minus.

And that is why law school finals are like the last drop on a rollercoaster. Finals entail stress and work, but the GPA concerns are about as serious as the rollercoaster rider worried about yarking up a hotdog. Yes, it’s a real concern – C’s and puke suck – but worrying about law school finals is still very charmed position to be in.

You guessed it, I’m pulling the “some children are starving” card:


Or the laid-off-worker-with-family card, or the foreclosure card, or the mental health card… the point is that some people have real problems, and no, sorry, law school finals do not qualify. The worst that can happen is a bad grade, and the world will not end with a C. Trust me. (And even if you aim to be an associate at a posh firm, remember they get fired too.)

Whether I am making videos about finals, throwing shade in the library, or shaking because I have just studied for 13 hours straight, I always remember that finals stress is about as serious (and non-serious) as puking hotdogs after a rollercoaster ride. I’m sure I’ll find a mop.

So the review of the past few weeks?

That’s all!


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